As I sit here waiting for the new year to arrive, I can’t help to look back on 2012 and be glad. That it’s almost over.
I won’t lie, 2012 has been a tough one financially and emotionally. When my husband lost his job last February, we were in shock. It was unexpected, unwarranted and left us unprepared. What we thought was going to be our savings to purchase a new home turned out to be the money we lived on for the next seven months. We made some decisions that left our family and friends scratching their heads but ultimately things worked out. My husband had lost his job before (unfortunately a by-product of his industry) but those times we had a backup plan. I always had the stable job that carried the insurance. Not this time.
This time, I was staying at home with my daughter. I was trying to determine if being a SAHM was for me and found out, it wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be and that I actually really liked it. Sure, I missed parts of the work environment but I knew my time at home wasn’t permanent. I was going to stay at home with my daughter until she entered school full-time. At least that was my plan. Once my husband lost his job, it was a race to see who could find a job first. Guess who won that race? Yup, me.
That was a bittersweet moment. I was actually offered a job that I absolutely thought I would love and it would bring us to a city that we all (well, maybe not Brecken), wanted to live in. I do love my job but I also miss the time I was able to spend with my little girl. She’s growing up so fast and I feel more like a spectator in her life than an actual participant. I’m trying to remember when she learned how to use the word “perfect” in a sentence and I can’t. That makes me extremely sad. I hate that I see her for 30 minutes in the morning and only a few hours at night. That’s not the kind of mom I wanted to be.
Another tough part of 2012? My relationship with my husband. We’ve had a rough year with more downs than ups and that has really challenged us as a couple. I can’t say 100% what the future holds for us but we’re both working on our issues. Of course I think he has more issues than me, but isn’t that typical? 
What I’ve learned throughout this process is that I am stronger than what I thought. I’m not afraid to be a single parent or afraid to be “alone.” I’m more afraid of my daughter being in an environment where love and respect aren’t apparent most of the time.
So as we get closer to midnight, I’m looking forward to saying goodbye to 2012. Let’s bring on 2013!
photo credit: Christopher Chan via photopin cc
Happy New Year! I also hope 2013 is better than 2012. We’ve just about gone through out savings because my husband’s work (he’s self employed) has slowed down. Hoping the work picks up and we can get back on track. Just had one daughter finish college (in December) and the other is starting in September.
I have to remember I have so many things to be thankful for but sometimes it is hard to see through all the negative stuff. Here’s to a better 2013 for both of us!!
I hope 2013 proves to be a happy and prosperous year for you!
Thank you.
Twitter: naptimeismytime
says:
The new year will be a great one for you! You have drive and determination. I hope you and your husband are able to work together on your differences, marriage is tough. And even harder when life seems to zig curve balls at you on a daily basis.
I appreciate the kind words! I’m determined to make 2013 a better year. It’s all about getting back to basics, right?
Oh Sarah I am so sorry. I pray the new year be a year of new beginnings for you and your precious family.
Thanks Marina.
Twitter: twitter.com/parentpalace
says:
Here’s to a great 2013!
Hubby and I always say that surviving his loss of job and our loss of home proved that we were a strong couple and have made us what we are today. I know it is tough to make tough decisions and there is so much feeling behind change, but I pray you find your balance and peace and that 2013 will be better for you! Hugs
It sounds like you’ve had quite a year. Isn’t it amazing what life throws at us and how we get through it? I hope you have a fantastic 2013 and that many wonderful surprises are ahead for you.