Each morning I wake up and realize, I’m not in Kansas anymore. No, I’m not trying to rip off lines from the 1939 movie The Wizard of Oz, I really wake up and think, I’m not in Kansas anymore and boy has my life changed.
When I graduated from high school, I had one goal. Get the hell out of my hometown as fast as I could. I ended up accepting an offer from Wichita State University and moved to Kansas. My 5-year plan was to get my degree in sports administration and move to Arizona. I’m not sure why I picked Arizona but that’s what my goal was and fortunately, I never made it. I lived in Kansas for 15 years and then decided it was time to move on. It was time for new scenery.
My life had been full of setting goals for myself and achieving them, being Miss Independent and doing whatever I wanted without asking anyone. I ran my first marathon under four hours and I raced up Pikes Peak and didn’t die. I traveled all across the country. In Hawaii, I ran on the beach in my bridesmaid dress. I drove cross country with my friend Emily to Woodstock where we slept in a tent and watched our “neighbors” shoot up heroin. I even, on a whim, drove to New Jersey to celebrate NYE. I was at Wrigley Field the day Darryl Kile was found dead in his hotel room. I had a ton of great experiences being Miss Independent.
Then, after years of saying I would never get married or have children, I finally got married at the age of 30 and my life changed. We all say our lives change after marriage but my life really changed. I now had someone whom I was dependent on. At first that was a great feeling, then it became scary.
Fast forward a few more years and I’m living in Charlotte, NC. I’ve started a new job and then something happens. I get pregnant. On purpose. I have a beautiful baby girl and she changes my life. I no longer want to be Miss Independent, I want to be everything I can for this little girl. She teachers me that it’s OK to need others in my life and reaffirms this every day. My career is no longer as important and I give that up to stay home with her. Something Miss Independent would never do.
Now as I’ve returned to the work force again, my priorities are different. I take pride in my work but my goal is to come home and be with my daughter. To listen to her tell me about her school day, to play role playing games where she’s the mommy and I’m the daughter. Hearing her laugh is much more fulfilling than hitting a budget goal. So Miss Independent is still there but she’s left down her guard just a little bit. And she doesn’t mind at all.
I’m linking this post up at Tales of the Nursery’s Because Blog Prompts Are Fun #2. Won’t you join us?
About Sarah
Isn’t it funny how life never seems to go with our plans! Thanks for sharing your journey. Makes me realize that life going “astray” is sometimes how it’s meant to be
Wow, you have one crazy story! It’s really interesting. You’re a great writer.
she is a beauty! Children change us in so many ways but they are only young once and they need us so much!
Twitter: 7onashoestring
says:
I love it. I had big plans to be a pediatrician ever since I was in elementary school. Now I keep my pediatrician in business with my 5 kids. Children have a way of changing our perspective on everything. And B is beautiful.
Twitter: DealinandDishin
says:
It’s funny where we end up compared to where we planned to be and how great it is!
And I’m sure you don’t regret one minute of how much better your life is because of her. I’ve always thought I had to be that woman in the corporate world but my kids changed that around for me in a heartbeat.
It is pretty interesting how we go through so many stages of our lives that define who we really are
Twitter: mryjhnsn
says:
I don’t know about you but it amazes me that I had a life prior to the one I have now, and I am okay with that too. Love your prompt and you still sound pretty independents. How does Mrs. Independent sound?
I like the sound of that!
I didn’t think I wanted children either and so it surprised everyone when I also did it on purpose. Isn’t amazing the things you never thought you’d do once they come into your life? This was a pleasure to read, thank you for sharing.
I know this will sound weird but I’m glad there are others out there who didn’t think they wanted kids either! It’s like people thought I was completely insane when I would say that out loud!! But, I am so glad I changed my mind. She’s been the best thing ever.
It doesn’t sound weird to me…just because everyone around me decided to have kids before I did didn’t make me feel any different about having them, that’s not how it works, at least not for me. It was right when it was right and I feel the same way about my daughter.
Twitter: FrugalRunMama
says:
Great story! I didn’t have that many adventures before marriage, but we’ve gone on a lot since then- and before we had our daughter. And now she goes on adventures with us! She’s the most traveled 3 year old I know!
Twitter: JanetGoingCrazy
says:
Yes, yes, yes! Ok, I didn’t live quite as much as you did, but I get it! I loved my life then…love it more now.
She is so adorable. I remember my Miss Independent too though she was never well traveled. It’s funny how we can change!